I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
