Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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