So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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