I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
