you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
