I only kidnapped one of them. chill
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
