I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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