the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
is wine microwaveable?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
