I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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