You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
