somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
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