If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
