Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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