we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
