Well douche your snatch and let's go!
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
