I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
