You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
