So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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