this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
