I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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