I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
