According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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