She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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