My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
last night I used snow as a chaser
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
