thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
