Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
