im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
