I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
So. Much. Porn.
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