I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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