Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
