Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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