Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
