i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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