he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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