When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
