i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
