so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
that is very illegal...i love you.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
