I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
