It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Tornado booty call.. dedication
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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