i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
