THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
