Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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