your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
