That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
