Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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