What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
