Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
