Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
