No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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