is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
