you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
