How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She's the barista slut.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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