he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
