After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
